General
11/November/2009 12:50 PM
Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night inCalgary Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it inCanada ? (USA
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? (England)
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night inCalgary Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it inCanada ? (USA
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
KW Record Newspaper Article about the Cates'
16/October/2009 08:11 PM
pastedGraphic
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Comedian juggles show biz and real life
By Colin Hunter, Record staff
KITCHENER – Of all the juggling routines Bob Cates has performed – and there have been plenty – the trickiest one became part of his repertoire just one month ago: fatherhood.
Sure, Cates can juggle bowling pins while riding a two-metre-high unicycle, but cradling his newborn son Hudson requires a special kind of dexterity.
And yes, Cates can keep 21 genuine dinner plates simultaneously spinning atop an immense array of rods, but changing diapers has proven a comparably dicey undertaking.
“The combination of juggling and fatherhood, that’s tricky,” Cates says, holding little Hudson in the crook of one arm juggling two white balls with the other.
For more than a decade, Cates has criss-crossed the globe several times over, performing his comedy juggling routine at corporate events, church events and on the high seas.
When he tallied up all the weeks he has performed on cruise ships, it dawned on him that he has spent roughly three years on the “floating prisons with room service,” as he jokingly calls the vessels.
The cruise ship jobs have actually been good work – and they helped pay for a nice, impressively tidy house in Kitchener – but Cates plans to take a break from cruise shows after his upcoming two-week stint with Royal Caribbean.
With little Hudson now part of the family, Cates and his wife Jane hope to keep their vaudevillian show a little closer to home for a while.
The Nov. 6 show at Guelph Salvation Army, for instance, will be a rare opportunity for the Cates clan to bedazzle an audience and still get home before Hudson gets cranky.
Just last week, Hudson got his first chance to see daddy in action, though his vision is still blurry and unfocused, so he just slept backstage instead.
The audience, on the other hand, marveled as always at Cates’ boundless energy, comic timing and preternatural dexterity.
Thirty-eight-year-old Cates has devoted his adult life to honing an act that mixes juggling, magic and admittedly “squeaky clean” comedy that is suitable for children but completely palatable to adults.
It all began in the town of Forest, a rural burg situated between Sarnia and Grand Bend, when Cates was still in high school. He was watching a video in English class that included a brief snippet of juggling, which prompted him to whisper to his buddy: “Wouldn’t it cool to be able to do that?
His buddy boasted that he could, in fact, do that – then proved it by juggling a trio of blackboard erasers. Impressed, Cates borrowed a book on juggling from the library and scooted to his room in the family farmhouse to practice for hours on end.
By the time he got to McMaster University to study business, Cates was proficient enough to start a juggling club on campus.
Small gigs followed, mostly busking at carnivals and street fairs, and Cates sharpened his comic patter and added to his increasingly difficult repertoire of tricks.
Along the way, he bought an original plate-spinning rig that was previously used by a regular performer on the Ed Sullivan show, and devoted himself to learning the lost art. The results were often less-than-stellar.
“My serious estimate is that in the past 10 years I’ve smashed about 1,000 plates,” he says. He has, however, discovered an upside to the occasional blooper: “People love to see plates smash. Especially kids.”
Nowadays there’s one kid in particular that Cates is desperate to please. Hudson doesn’t really do much yet, aside from “eat, sleep and fill up diapers,” Jane says.
But Cates is optimistic that, one day, Hudson might follow in daddy’s footsteps.“In the ultrasound his hands were moving around like he was juggling,” says Cates. “That was pretty exciting.”
chunter@therecord.com
For Bob Cates’ videos, information and show schedule, visit www.comedyinmotion.com
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Comedian juggles show biz and real life
By Colin Hunter, Record staff
KITCHENER – Of all the juggling routines Bob Cates has performed – and there have been plenty – the trickiest one became part of his repertoire just one month ago: fatherhood.
Sure, Cates can juggle bowling pins while riding a two-metre-high unicycle, but cradling his newborn son Hudson requires a special kind of dexterity.
And yes, Cates can keep 21 genuine dinner plates simultaneously spinning atop an immense array of rods, but changing diapers has proven a comparably dicey undertaking.
“The combination of juggling and fatherhood, that’s tricky,” Cates says, holding little Hudson in the crook of one arm juggling two white balls with the other.
For more than a decade, Cates has criss-crossed the globe several times over, performing his comedy juggling routine at corporate events, church events and on the high seas.
When he tallied up all the weeks he has performed on cruise ships, it dawned on him that he has spent roughly three years on the “floating prisons with room service,” as he jokingly calls the vessels.
The cruise ship jobs have actually been good work – and they helped pay for a nice, impressively tidy house in Kitchener – but Cates plans to take a break from cruise shows after his upcoming two-week stint with Royal Caribbean.
With little Hudson now part of the family, Cates and his wife Jane hope to keep their vaudevillian show a little closer to home for a while.
The Nov. 6 show at Guelph Salvation Army, for instance, will be a rare opportunity for the Cates clan to bedazzle an audience and still get home before Hudson gets cranky.
Just last week, Hudson got his first chance to see daddy in action, though his vision is still blurry and unfocused, so he just slept backstage instead.
The audience, on the other hand, marveled as always at Cates’ boundless energy, comic timing and preternatural dexterity.
Thirty-eight-year-old Cates has devoted his adult life to honing an act that mixes juggling, magic and admittedly “squeaky clean” comedy that is suitable for children but completely palatable to adults.
It all began in the town of Forest, a rural burg situated between Sarnia and Grand Bend, when Cates was still in high school. He was watching a video in English class that included a brief snippet of juggling, which prompted him to whisper to his buddy: “Wouldn’t it cool to be able to do that?
His buddy boasted that he could, in fact, do that – then proved it by juggling a trio of blackboard erasers. Impressed, Cates borrowed a book on juggling from the library and scooted to his room in the family farmhouse to practice for hours on end.
By the time he got to McMaster University to study business, Cates was proficient enough to start a juggling club on campus.
Small gigs followed, mostly busking at carnivals and street fairs, and Cates sharpened his comic patter and added to his increasingly difficult repertoire of tricks.
Along the way, he bought an original plate-spinning rig that was previously used by a regular performer on the Ed Sullivan show, and devoted himself to learning the lost art. The results were often less-than-stellar.
“My serious estimate is that in the past 10 years I’ve smashed about 1,000 plates,” he says. He has, however, discovered an upside to the occasional blooper: “People love to see plates smash. Especially kids.”
Nowadays there’s one kid in particular that Cates is desperate to please. Hudson doesn’t really do much yet, aside from “eat, sleep and fill up diapers,” Jane says.
But Cates is optimistic that, one day, Hudson might follow in daddy’s footsteps.“In the ultrasound his hands were moving around like he was juggling,” says Cates. “That was pretty exciting.”
chunter@therecord.com
For Bob Cates’ videos, information and show schedule, visit www.comedyinmotion.com
Our Son Has Arrived - Hudson Elliot Cates
03/September/2009 07:45 PM
Telecommunication Competition in Canada
27/August/2009 09:26 AM
I left BELL Canada finally after 15 or more years as their prices, particularly on my home phone kept mysteriously rising. So I switched to a voice over IP provider which had a pretty good deal. However, after a few months away, Bell called and said "we want you back" with an offer I couldn't refuse. So now I'm going back for $62.84+ tax for INTERNET (6meg) AND Home PHONE including 25 hours long dist/mo north america + 5 features, no install fee, no hook up ect. Now THAT is a pretty good price. Apparently the price is good for 2 years. They even offered a free HD box plus BASIC TV for $26. But we’ve decided not to get TV here. But that price WAS tempting. So, the moral of the story is, if they won’t give you a competitive price, cancel your service, and show them you mean business. Heck, maybe you can even just use your cell for 3 months till they call you back.
For another great telecommunications option, you should also check out the company ACN HERE.
My brother is a rep, and they offer many different services from home VIDEO phones (COOL!), to cell phones, and home internet.
For another great telecommunications option, you should also check out the company ACN HERE.
My brother is a rep, and they offer many different services from home VIDEO phones (COOL!), to cell phones, and home internet.
Summer of 2009
16/July/2009 04:38 PM
A funny look at my old goals
08/June/2009 01:54 PM
I was going through some of my old personal goals. 
In 2001 I had this under relationship stuff:
2001 – No girlfriends
2002 – Think about possibility of girlfriend
2003 – Pray for and mentally prepare for girlfriend
2004 – Be open to having an actual girlfriend & courtship
2005-2006 - Be ready for marriage if God wills
And wouldn’t you know it, I was actually ready in 2006 and got married in 2007! (good thing I used years instead of months!)
In 2001 I had this under relationship stuff:
2001 – No girlfriends
2002 – Think about possibility of girlfriend
2003 – Pray for and mentally prepare for girlfriend
2004 – Be open to having an actual girlfriend & courtship
2005-2006 - Be ready for marriage if God wills
And wouldn’t you know it, I was actually ready in 2006 and got married in 2007! (good thing I used years instead of months!)
New Inspiring Movie
04/June/2009 01:52 PM
I Got this email from Living Waters:
We want to get behind a movie we previewed. It is called "The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry" and is produced by our friend Rich Christiano. It is cleverly crafted to slowly draw you in. Suddenly, what seemed ordinary becomes extraordinary, and very powerful. If you care about the lost, you will love this movie. Kirk said:
"'The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry' moved me with its message of the weight of eternity and the difference one faithful man can make in the lives of many. I recommend this inspiring movie for any family to watch together."
Please consider doing everything you can to get this into movie theaters. Go to www.SperryMovie.com and click on "Theaters" to see how you can become involved.
We want to get behind a movie we previewed. It is called "The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry" and is produced by our friend Rich Christiano. It is cleverly crafted to slowly draw you in. Suddenly, what seemed ordinary becomes extraordinary, and very powerful. If you care about the lost, you will love this movie. Kirk said:
"'The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry' moved me with its message of the weight of eternity and the difference one faithful man can make in the lives of many. I recommend this inspiring movie for any family to watch together."
Please consider doing everything you can to get this into movie theaters. Go to www.SperryMovie.com and click on "Theaters" to see how you can become involved.
Did you have a drug problem?
14/May/2009 01:03 PM
Schools use video games for gym class
05/December/2008 09:06 PM
- Juggling, DDR, and Wii Fit, all in one news paper article. What more could you ask for?
Here goes nothing
17/November/2008 05:18 PM